mental health & mood

since it is mental health awareness month, I wanted to take this time to share part of my recent journey with mental health in the hopes that it resonates with someone else and helps them feel less alone, because you never know what people are going through on the inside.

I have lived with anxiety and a bit of depression for as long as I can remember. I used to be so ashamed to admit that, let alone talk about in a format like this, but sharing has only helped me navigate the journey. knowing you are not alone in those feelings can truly help you overcome tough moments, big or small.

movement has always been a big tool for me – the biggest tool really. however, recently I tore my ACL and fractured part of the bone in my knee, and it took my number one tool to deal with my mental struggles away from me. in a way, this injury took my identity from me, for a period of time at least. the pain and exhaustion triggered so much of my anxiety and depression, and in normal circumstances, I would usually be able to deal with it by walking, taking a workout class, or rolling out my yoga mat at my apartment. But that was just gone.

it is not lost on me that my injury is not life threatening, I got the surgery I needed, and I will ultimately get better, but that still doesn’t take away from the mental toll it took on me. when something as simple as walking is no longer an option, your mind can go to a bad place and just get stuck there.

as I recover more and more each day, I am able to reflect on how this injury has made my mind stronger. I had to figure out how to lean on other tools to get me through, and let’s be real, a lot of that looked like surrendering to the darkness. ice cream, mindless tv and my couch is where I spent a lot of time coping; I tried to simply forget the situation with these coping habits. ultimately as time went on, I couldn’t escape, and the need to practice other tools was very obvious.

I surrendered to tools like asking for help (something that is a challenge for me after independently living in NYC my entire adult life), shifting my mindset (even when that took days to do), and listening to what my body needs. I had to get "comfortable with the uncomfortable" and sometimes that is the push you need to get you to where you need to be next.

here are a few practices that continue to help put me in a calmer, more content mood.

mindset

this is something I have always spoken about but never truly felt the power of until recently. after surgery and when I could be more mobile, I was determined to try and switch my mindset. I tried and I tried, and each day it didn’t work until it did. Something clicked when that happened. I understood the power of mindset in a whole new way. it takes work, but that work pays off and when it does it's magical.

journaling

word dumping can be a powerful tool. setting a timer and just writing with no agenda can help flush out frustrations and emotions and help your overall processing. some days I don’t want to write and on those days I just write down 3 things I am grateful for. it sets my mind up for a positive attitude.

gratitude journal // personalized journal

breathwork

this is something I had always been intimidated by. I also hadn’t found the right teacher and setting to really be open to it. once I embraced the challenge of the unknown practice, it became a tool to help my mood.

my friend and brilliant breathwork teacher, Nadia, who started her own practice, Well with Nadia, gave me the push I needed, as I connected to the way she taught. she guides you as you lay down with a three part breathing practice with music. the active breath part is hard and lasts for 25 minutes. it was wild to experience what came up for me the first time, and now each time I come out of it with a different understanding. the last 10 minutes consist of an active visualization, which I love to decompress and process what I just went through.

cannabis - CBD, THC, AND CBG

CBD has done wonders for me when I need the edge taken off. Prima soft gels, either the daily, no worries, or sleep tight, are a great way to stay consistent with cbd intake because they are supplements formulated for optimal support when taken every day. when I feel like I need a little extra help, the combo of CBD and THC provide added relief. Cann drinks are my favorite end of day beverage if I’m feeling like I need total zen. I also got into PLUS when they originally made gummies with just CBD, but now they offer gummies with various combinations of CBD, CBG, and THC (the 3 main substances found in cannabis) targeting particular effects like uplift, relief, calm, balance, and sleep.

sexual wellness

not enough people talk about sexual wellness and its link to mood. the oxytocin or the “feel good” hormones released during orgasm can make you happier. it can also help with sleep which we know makes everything better. I love the size and the simplicity of Maude’s vibe, and it really does the job.

I hope this encourages anyone who may be feeling somewhat (or a lot) in the dark, lost, or in a spiral, to keep going. even when it feels non-existent, you can find beauty in life... just in ways you may least expect it.